ling-ling san

So Long and Thanks For All the Fish

2009-04-30T03:26:00.003+12:00

I left Japan.
Reluctantly and perhaps to return again someday, but I must in pursuit of a career that involves my skill set and field of study.

A lot has been learned in Japan. Japan is superior to Canada in many ways, but there are other aspects of it that I found maddening. For example, my first post from 2004 was complaining about people riding their bicycles on the sidewalk. Well, guess what. I still despise that. Bicycles should be on the street, not the sidewalk. But cheap portable hard drives, cosplay restaurants and Coronas sold with lime packets make up for it.

The best thing about Japan ultimately are the Japanese people. They are truly unique. They exceed the video games, delicious food and ancient culture. They have been most welcoming and I thank them for that.

I could blog about it, but I have to find a job. Thus ends Ling Ling San, which I was somehow able to update the entire time I was there, monthly. Perhaps later a retrospective is in order, if I fall upon several hours of free time. There is a mountain of information that I did not post and write about due to time constraints.

Sayonara.

New Years

2009-03-07T18:05:00.015+12:00

Yes it's March but I thought I'd post a bit of goodness from January when I had a unique experience of attending a real Japanese family gathering of Oshiogatsu, or New Year's holiday.
Unlike getting wrecked with your friends on Dec. 31st, in Japan people wake up early on Jan. 1 to eat a special meal, drink sake and possibly watch hours of Japanese comedians. It's great, except for the comedians. Afterwards, it's customary to go to an extremely crowded shrine to throw some coins into ??? something and pray for good luck in the coming year.
I only took part in some of these activities as I had a fever over the holidays. But I got some good snaps of Aki and her family.
And here they are, as I'm becoming less comfortable with uploading my new pictures to Facebook. Don't trust Facebook (that's a statement, not an imperative. I took out the "I" subject to be rad, just like Japanese grammar)
In conclusion, a Japanese new year's is almost entirely based around food.
And perhaps so is the culture itself.
New Years feels a lot like Christmas in Canada, with the family/eating theme.

Fever or no fever, when your mother in law offers you warm sake first thing in the morning, there is no answer besides "yes, please".

Aki's uncle cuts up some hard mochi. Not sure what it's for. I guess it's to eat but I think it could be used to construct small dwellings.

Toshikoshi soba, good luck noodles to be eaten on new year's eve.

One big fish, ker-plunk in the middle of all the other food.

Osetchi, customary "lunchbox-style" meal eaten between the 1st and the 3rd to allow the matriarch of the household some much needed rest from cooking (which of course, doesn't happen).

Aki's brothers' and mothers' cars are very cute together.

Hiroki and Manami, Aki's brother and his new bride. This is their first new year's married and have a busy day ahead of "doing the rounds."

Traditional new year's decoration, an orange atop two mochi cakes. This one features two dried plums, for reasons I could not acertain.

Wadder Conservation Conversation

2009-02-27T06:52:00.002+12:00

In Japan wasting water is equivalent to The Good Times.

Brought up in Canada, most people are taught as a measure of common sense to not waste water and electricity. Or a warm, sunny day. My father tried to teach me not to waste money but it never stuck.

In Japan, I have started to slowly realize that wasting water is not such an issue. Often during the day people (generally shop keepers on side streets) stand outside and water the pavement at great length. I've heard one theory that they are washing away urine from the salarymen and stray cats that piss wherever they like. This sounds like a feasible reason. But perhaps it's also a source of relaxation.

There are also a number of plastic water bottles just sitting around outside houses and sometimes shops, generally in residential areas. I'm still not sure what those are for - someone told me they were for the homeless to drink but I think that's simply untrue. I'd sooner believe that they were for the cats, not the homeless.

But it really stuck me about the predilection for water consumption when I was teaching a lesson from a twelve year old textbook before global climate change was as noticeable as it was today. This is an awful topic to bother with in Japan. Of all the subjects to cover and conversations to have, conservation and ecology was a provider of immediate verbal constipation. I'm sticking to restaurant lessons in the future.

The discussion exercise was to come up with ideas for global ecological "green" conservation. Walking or cycling instead of driving, etc, that sort of thing. There was a point about the possibility of switching from baths to showers which drew unanimous refusal from all my classes. I was astonished. To me, a shower and bath are interchangeable and equally uninteresting.

My students told me that bathing in Japan was a long standing cultural tradition and of great importance to everyday life. As far as water conservation goes, it is tradition in a household for family members to bath in sequence, one after another, in the evening. Using the same bath water for soaking in. Showers before and after are required. I'm not even sure if the conservation is an issue than it is the trouble of refilling the tub each time.

Although I have seen an antiquated Japanese heated bathtub from 100 years ago, and it was a singular marvel. A stone fireplace was built underneath the bath the heat it directly by flame, something like cooking yourself clean. It comes as no surprise then to know that the temperature that people generally take baths in here is searing hot, lobster boiling temperatures.

The same goes for swimming pools and onsens (hot springs). Onsens are a hot topic in my lessons. Every week my students visit onsens for as a source for healing and relaxation. So I guess that is one cultural fixture that can occur naturally.

Anyway, Aki says there's never any shortage of water in Japan. I asked her where all the potable water comes from, as Japan has barely any lakes. She claims multiple desalination plants. I stopped there, the topic had already gone on past my interest level, although looking at the monthly water bill, it is very cheap compared to Canada. Aki routinely takes long showers and frequent baths, and yet somehow our monthly water bill is only about 15 dollars Canadian.

What's the moral of the story? If you enjoy wasting water, then Japan is the country for you!

By the way, the "wadder" title of this post was a reflection I had upon watching the CBC news on the internet each day. Although it's a service I great appreciate, Kevin Harvey (from Gander, Nfld) always seems to have a report where he gets to bastardize the word WADDER. Jim Nunn should haul him aside and show him where the T is.

Japan's Banana Diet

2009-01-28T05:43:00.004+12:00

Japan. Bananas. Diet. Can you put it all together?

In brief, last year an opera singer stated in a TV broadcast said that she lost a bunch of weight by having only bananas and warm water for breakfast. As many bananas as you can eat. Then eat whatever you want for lunch and dinner. And that's the whole diet.

As a knee jerk reaction, people literally ran out to the supermarkets and bought all the bananas.

For this reason, you can't find bananas at supermarkets anymore as they are sold out minutes after being stocked at the supermarkets. Heaps of people have jumped all over this diet.

I hate bananas and I think this diet is stupid. The fad itself is somewhat amusing. It will probably fare better than quarter pounders, anyway. My question is who would take serious nutritional advice from an opera singer?

It reminds me of two years ago when Billy Blanks was huge over here pushing Tae Bo and everyone ran out and bought his DVD's.

See you next month!

Christmas Quarter Pounder

2008-12-26T00:06:00.013+12:00

The McDonalds hype machine performed some pre Christmas miracles on the 23rd. Chris Meagher first notified me about this bizarre McDonalds Quarter Pounder promotion in select locations only, in Tokyo only for a limited time in September, I think it was. I had no intension of going to Tokyo for a cheeseburger, but when the 3 day stint in Osaka took place on the 23rd, 24th and 25th Aki (who's favorite restaurant is - believe it or not, McDonalds) had her day off planned around going and checking it out in Shinsaibashi.

We first arrived at Shinsaibashi at 2pm on Monday... the participating McDo is around the corner from the Apple Store, if you know Osaka. The lineup stretched forever down the street. I didn't take a photo, but let me put it this way: we couldn't see where the line ended. Somewhere up near Nagahoribashi. I said, "no way." I couldn't wait in that line. Sometimes I think Japanese people love to wait in lines, when likely it's just a reality of the culture. I said to Aki, "let's go shopping and see a movie and we'll come back later tonight."

Which is what we did. And we finally saw Wall-E properly in theatres. Yes, Wall-E just opened in Japan, I think Disney movies generally do better around Xmas here as everyone knows Wall-E was in theatres months and months ago back home.

We went back to the Quarter Pounder HQ at 10:00pm, and luckily the line had been reduced to a smattering, so we were in and out in mere minutes. 500 Yen for a Quarter Pounder with cheese, small fries and medium coke. Cash only, no other menu offerings, so you can understand the speed. But look at that photo of the staff. There must have been 50 people behind the counter. It was supreme madness.

We also got a T-shirt commemorating the occasion (one apiece) and some stickers and a free gift card. So it was quite a deal. I thought they'd be losing money on the experience, Aki tells me otherwise. Aki used to be a McDonalds manager and she tells me of the 500 Yen each customer spent, the Coke is worth 10 Yen, the fries 17 Yen and the burger maybe 200 Yen. So they did make a profit, yes.

Quite a spectacle. Aki was a happy camper as we trained it home to hoe down on McGrease.

More Than Meets the Eye [Warning: This post is entirely about Transformers]

2008-11-30T02:38:00.019+12:00

I've always been too pumped for Transformers. Until recently, it hadn't set in that Transformers were originally from Japan. The bulk of the animated series from the 80s that I grew up with was animated here (post 1985 when it moved to Korea) and the figures designed by Takara were distributed by Hasbro. Of course, I didn't know that the Transformers came about in 1983 when some representatives from Hasbro came to Tokyo to see that a few different companies were developing transformable robot toys. Diaclone made the bulk of the Autobots (being robots changing into cars), the Insecticons were their own standalone product (Waruder toys), Dinobots were their own set of toys as were the Constructicons. And all these toys in the Diaclone line were made and owned by Takara. Hasbro put it all together and commissioned the TV series (aka 30 minute toy commercials). The men who designed the Macross fighters did most of the work on the Transformers. That explains Jetfire. Anyway, The history of it all is on Wikipedia and other sources but it is interesting to see it all come together here as a point of origin.

Regimbal was here three months ago, he was into getting some Decepticons ('Destron' in Jland) for his desk. We spent some time in Den Den Town (the local nerd district) searching for G1 Soundwave. We did score one loose in great condition with Lazerbeak, though I would have liked to have found it for less than 50 bucks. Anyway, Regimbal went back to Canada with G1 Soundwave, Megatron and Starscream.

After he left I realized that there probably was a shop somewhere in Den Den Town dedicated entirely to Transformers as opposed to a dedicated section in the plentiful selection of toy shops (sandwiched between porn dvd and electronic shops).

Herogangu is in the heart of Nipponbashi. I should have known. It has a huge billboard of Tetsuo Shima from Akira on it's facade. Inside is two floors chock full of every kind of Transformer ever made. From the G1 series and figures exclusive to Japan (of which there are many) through G1, the repugnant and forgettable Beast Wars of the 90s, through Energon, Armada and into this year's sweet Universe and Classics molds that are faithful (and superior) remolds of the G1 series. It's all in there. There's so much stuff to look at. And there's a statue of Opimus Prime standing in front of a sofa filled with Stitch dolls. I don't really see the connection... just maybe the local cuteness quota needs fulfilling. The staff wear teal short sleeve shirts with Decepticon logos as uniforms. It's very cool. Their website is quite minimal though. If you can read Japanese...
herogangu.com/

There's also a series that's unique to Japan which is somewhat disturbing. Transformers : Kiss Players are transforming robots which come with female drivers that "kiss" the Autobots to transform them. Sounds innocent enough, but the manga which accompanies it is reportedly quite graphic in nature. It is marketed to horny nerd men intentionally as opposed to children, however.

I'm not really into the new animated series. Although I love that Soundwave's guitar turns into Lazerbeak! I'm in favor of the Michael Bay live action films. They are quite tite in the nite.

The rarest of the lot are locked inside glass cases. There's a Japanese G1 Devastator in the box for about $700.00 and a Megatron for $550.00 Although over there, the US releases are all priced much higher. They've got pretty much every robot, I think. It's a great place to waste time.

Anyway, it's truly a nerd's paradise in there and I had to take Fader over for an afternoon of Den Denning last weekend. He tracked down some GiJoes in there as well. I should post a bit about that soon, as well as the eventful Harrowe'en we had. I've been searching Den Den town recently for some Christmas items: Max wants some One Piece (POP) statuettes and I'm on the lookout for more pixelated Super Mario goodness for Chris Meagher.

Roll out.

Harroween Is Upon Us Again

2008-10-29T04:10:00.005+12:00

It's the 29th of the month. Time for another post to ensure I don't have a month-hole in my unwavering coverage of this country.

Hallowe'en is a time of cosplay. Young people wear bizarre costumes at the drop of a hat on any given day, so it takes a lot of coaxing for anyone else to get pumped for it. 99% of my students and a great number of local friends (as well as Brits and Aussies) couldn't care less for Hallowe'en, I truly I don't blame them. Without the nostalgia factor, the holiday is ludicrous.

Anyway, on a recent trip to USJ I was giddy to see 5 schoolgirls with matching Sailor Moon-esque type outfits, and Aki took the initiative to get them to pose with me (they were standing in front of the Universal globe posing for photos with everyone else) so I was rather pumped. And they seemed pumped that I was pumped. And I was pumped that they seemed pumped that I was pumped. And so on.

Today everyone's taking down all the Hallowe'en decorations and the shops are packing up the costumes. Because there's three days left 'till Hallowe'en. Trick or trunk.

Weekend Wednesday

2008-09-29T05:20:00.001+12:00

It's been a while.
Weekend Wednesday is impossible in Japan. The requirements do not exist.

6:00pm Midosuji Car 7 Arm Groaner

2008-08-28T14:11:00.006+12:00

I am obsessed with finding out what is wrong with this man on the subway.

Around February, I first noticed him. I'm a creature of habit with a two hour lunch break. Although my lunch break happens to occur during dinnertime. Usually I take the train home at 4:10 and return to work at 6:20 so I get on the train at 6:00.

When I get on the train around 6pm, there are two choices. Either the long distance train going all the way to Nakamouzu or a shorter one going straight to my workplace in Tennoji. They both come around the same time. I always get in the same door, car 7 closest to car 8.

When I get in, I have noticed on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, there is an unusual man riding the train, although only on the Nakamouzu run.

He appears to have been injured. His arm is in a grey sling. He wears a suit, like a local salaryman. He looks normal. Wears glasses, usually carries an accessory bag.

He groans. He grunts. He grimaces. He moans and wails in excruciating pain. I can't figure out what's wrong with this guy. First of all, if he had a broken arm, it should have healed by now. I first saw him in Feb, and here it is August. It takes an average of three months for bones to heal. Usually he stands, even if there is a seat available. He grasps the handle ring with one hand, and clutching the other arm (in the sling) to his chest, moans in agony. Teeth clenched, eyes tightly shut, sweat pouring down his face. He seems to be in labor. Other people, upon entering the train look at each other in bewilderment. WTF is wrong with this guy?

I'm thinking, WTF is still wrong with this guy? It's been 6 months at least he's had this condition, and presumably still goes to work. Every day he wears a suit. Someone is paying him for his time and his abilities. What could he possibly be doing, with only one arm and wailing like a battlefield casualty? I'd like to think anyone I'd know with this kind of condition would:
a) stay at home
b) seek adequate medical assistance

Occasionally, I've noted someone nearby asks this man if he is okay, or maybe he'd like to take their seat. He never responds verbally, but with a dismissive wave. Anyway... It's a mystery that I will likely never solve. And yet he is consistent in making a spectacle of himself.

Mark Regimbal is here. Between 4 hour sleeps, we are doing some sightseeing. Perhaps I'll take him on the Nakamouzu line at 6:00pm, so we can see Osaka's mysterious 6:00pm Midosuji Car 7 Arm Groaner in excruciating, unexplained pain.

Pi Ku Ni Ku in Nagai Botanica Gardens

2008-07-23T04:05:00.012+12:00

Easily the easiest place in Osaka to imagine you are not in Osaka. There are (gasp) blades of real grass everywhere and (gulp) real flowers. And even a (yipes) natural pond.

Celebrating Tim Tuder's return and the closing of the Pig and Whistle (next month). Tim's the kind of champ who plans a three day trip from Beijing simply to get hammered at his favorite watering hole one last time.

And the picnic was textbook. Even the ants came. And 10,000 turtles and two swans.

Monster Motorcyle Thing

2008-06-27T03:53:00.003+12:00

What is it? It's crazy. It looks comfortable. It was parked outside a pet shop on a warm spring day.

Ikea has Balls

2008-06-27T03:50:00.003+12:00

Because Osaka is not Halifax, there is actually an Ikea here complete with a free bus that takes you there and back to the station. Having been there only once as a pre-teen, it was nice to see they still had robots pounding on the furniture. One nice addition was a menu of Swedish treats, such as these fine meatballs.
In conclusion, Ikea is a store that one could shop in. Even in they don't like stores or furniture. It helps to enjoy the luck-soaked meatballs. Some assembly required.

Tommy Lee Jones Alien Clone Selling Boss Coffee

2008-06-27T03:45:00.004+12:00

You don't/can't go anywhere without peering at Tommy Lee Jones and his lovable, wrinkly face selling coffee drinks. He frequently appears on TV hawking the beverages as a streetwise alien with a fondness for karaoke. The commercial below sums it up nicely - notice the alien contraption shutting his ear closed so he doesn't hear the office workers bastardizing his favorite song.

This is great - it's even subtitled. When he cries listening to the Aki Yashiro...

Gentle Guidance

2008-06-27T03:39:00.001+12:00

Because It's taken for granted that everyone knows how to sit on these toilets.

Rain Rain : Enjoying With Rain

2008-05-11T23:19:00.003+12:00

It's hard to keep a straight face sometimes.
Incredible how funny the word "with" is when misappropriated.

Bee Movie Promotion... Beyond Beelief!

2008-04-29T01:33:00.007+12:00

I didn't catch this personally... and found the pics on a Jsite. The promotional ceremony for WB's Bee Movie in Tokyo, in February I think.

This famous model dressed up as a bee. Who doesn't love girls dressed as bees? Raise your hand. Okay, some of you don't like women dressed as bees. Knock it off. This woman is here to do serious work.

She must introduce a large bee that Jerry Seinfeld voiced in the movie. Astonishingly enough, Jerry himself is in the bee suit. He really is. Reeeeeally.

The bee girl won some sort of award, apparently. Afterwards, of course, the bee girl proceeded to feed the kiddie bees (who showed up at the end) some cake. His eyes (see the last photo) are NOT on the cake.

鯰, Namazu Chan

2008-03-29T18:58:00.007+12:00

This arrived in the mail this week. The cover for a large unfolding map of the area and where to meet up in the event of an earthquake.
The character of Namazu was most surprising. He's a gigantic catfish. "In Japanese mythology, Namazu (鯰) is a giant catfish who causes earthquakes. Namazu lives in the mud beneath the earth, and is guarded by the god Kashima who restrains the fish with a stone. When Kashima lets his guard fall, Namazu thrashes about, causing violent earthquakes." - Wiki
I've also heard that when he yawns, it's a tremor and if he sneezes a large earthquake will result.
Of course, he's adorable much like every other Kawaii character in Japan, be it public service messages or military adornments.
Kawaii
Anyway, I was really stuck by the image of Namazu-chan's shaking and the buildings on top of him teetering wildly. He's the most delightful little character to represent death and destruction on such a massive scale.

Sexy in the Morning

2008-02-29T20:44:00.002+12:00

This was lots of fun. These toasters create designer seared bread, with happy faces and "love" messages. Because there is nothing more romantic than toast.

Dogs, demons

2008-02-29T20:42:00.002+12:00

This was posted above a payphone in the ward office.
So... we should be careful of demons who talk to dogs.
I'd like to think that most people have taken precautions against this.

Did a cakery go under?

2008-02-29T20:37:00.002+12:00

When I saw these columns of wedding cake samples sitting among the garbage the other night was I intrigued and inspired by this bleak mountain of fake cake.
Did a cakery go under? Or is it more a symbol of the growing trend towards simpler, smaller wedding cakes versus tired towers?
It just makes for good fascination.

Holy

2008-02-28T07:40:00.003+12:00

It's a shame I don't always have my camera with me because I see bizarre and unusual events constantly. It keeps me here. No word yet on how long that will be. Too bad my phone is 4 years old, the photo quality is not that great.

Anyway, I was quite pleased to see a man on top of a ladder stuck directly inside a miniscule square hole in the ceiling of the basement "tube" outside my work a couple of weeks ago. I have a couple more of these to post, wedding cakes in the street and toast-art.

Australia's Gold Coast & Zoo

2008-01-30T05:08:00.001+12:00

Crikey!

Kintetsu Cultural School's Bone and Kite (End of the Year) Party

2007-12-22T09:39:00.001+12:00

Last Saturday saw me celebrating a long overdue staff party (last Christmas we had to cancel) and everyone was in prime, top form. We dined at Takao's on the standard nabe fare. Roy told his annual jokes that he'd found online. Afterwards, we decided a brief bowling game would be in order, so we sauntered across the Midosuji to a bowling lane for a very quick (and disturbing) game. Roy freaked us all out as he pounded the first strike! My partner Jun was having some trouble. In the end, Jun and I were defeated. We walked to the next building for some karaoke and finished before last train. A fun little staff party.

Todd and Ryoko's Christmas Potluck

2007-12-22T09:28:00.000+12:00

Last Sunday saw Aki and I attending Todd Hooper's annual Christmas Potluck out near Takatsuki. It was wholesome and warm. Todd and his lovely wife Ryoko (see Spiderman pose) invited twenty or so well behaved guests (no one was drinking!~myself included) as we played various game games, drawing games and even video games. Todd is a gaming all star. Ryoko made delicious meatballs that continually ran out and regenerated. It was a nice change to have a non-vegan potluck. Vegan potlucks are cool and all, but it's been 5 years or so since I've seen animal flesh at one of these things. I made softshell tacos. We exchanged gifts a la Secret Santa and called it a successful nite.

Murphy Does Osaka Again!

2007-11-28T04:55:00.000+12:00

Imagine my glee when Mike Murph arrived in Japan but two months ago. He agreed to best man at the ceremonies months some several months earlier, at Xmas 2007. We had a few brief days to chill before many others came. This video is of his second night here I believe. We met with Aki and Jenna. We ate Yakitori. It was funny when Murph shot the sake because it's usually for sipping. But the man knows what he's doing. Did you see the first Murphy video below? Hopefully they'll be enough footage for a third, and there will be a Mike Murph trilogy. Finally.

Someday soon, I'll have a chance to upload some photos select from the growing archives and actually comment on Japanese culture, as this blog was orginally intended.

It's worth mentioning, I think that Facebook has eliminated the driving force of this blog: to inform family and friends with some immediacy of my goings-on in Asia. But perhaps there's still a need for commentary and the like. Perhaps next month while I'm laying around the beach in Australia I'll get a chance to do some writing.

Keep on Linging.

Sailor Moon Rides Again

2007-10-21T08:24:00.000+12:00

Revisiting a modern Jclassic.

Japanese live action Sailor Moon series, "Pretty Guardian" with Puffi Amy Yumi's "Wild Girls on Circuit, The Readmade Mix '99".

This tv series for kids is just insane in a good way, and between some of the sappy melodrama there are some fantastic fight scenes with arguably some of the strangest creatures ever. In the style and production value of "Power Rangers" but much better as the heroes are jumping around engaging in combat clad in schoolgirl miniskirts.

The main antagonists seem to have developed some rocks that generate monsters from pretty much any inanimate object. They also possess people occasionally.

Some of the "youma" (monsters) they fight in this compilation include:
-A giant liquid set of three hands
-An airplane faced creature
-A music villian
-A statue with a snake-sword
-A woman in a black spiderweb-cloak with nine pink eyes
-A well-endowed balloon woman
-A series of cactus plant beats
-A rock dog

Should be fun for anyone who was a fan of the anime series back in the 1990s.

Murphy Does Osaka!

2007-09-28T22:32:00.000+12:00

Michael Murphy in Japan. Mindbending. Classic. Good times for all. These few nights at the Namco center we played some bizarre arcade/casino games. A game to hurl balls at balloons, a fishing game, Monopoly: The Medal, a claw grabber game and Let's Go Jungle. Famous for the frog smashing level with canoe paddles.
It was great to have Murph here. We got drunk. Then I got married. Then he went back to Nova Scotia.

Oooooon Top of Osaka, Covered in Greg Fryyyyyyyyy

2007-08-29T00:57:00.000+12:00

Kyoto Shrines, No Other Kinds

2007-08-29T00:51:00.000+12:00

How to Wean Your Kids From Pokemon

2007-08-29T00:47:00.000+12:00

Silver Suits at the George Jetson Ice Bar

2007-08-29T00:43:00.000+12:00

Tuder and his Multicolored Sayonara Sash

2007-07-25T05:21:00.000+12:00

[Generic rant about how annoying it is to upload photos to Blogger]
Now that that's over and done with, here's a video of my buddy Tim's Sayonara party a couple of weeks ago. Mind you, he had a series of eight or nine sayonara parties, ranging from obscene to ... less obscene. But we had a nice little time, all the celebrities were there in true Pig and Whistle Namba spirit.

The photos we had taken last month at the BBQ were choice, but I don't have 12 hours to upload them all, one at a time at like 20kb/s. You can join Facebook and see them. Nice multiple photo uploader. But I will continue making updates here every month at least. I think video via YouTube is the way to go. If a picture is worth 1000 words, how much is a 5 minute video worth?

Well, there's more where that came from. There's unedited footage from a trip to Tokyo that Aki and I took where we met Chris Yorke. And also Greg Fry is slated to visit next month, and a Michael Murphy visit in September for the nuptials. Hell, maybe I'll even edit the "lost" episodes of Jacob in Japan (The night we got completely wasted and did silly things).

Coming soon, on LingLingSan.

A Dandy Delight

2007-06-22T04:43:00.000+12:00

Sorry. This blog thing has moved to Facebook, as it is MUCH eaiser to upload multiple photos than this Blogger foolishness.
A large update is promised for the end of the month. A nice BBQ party by the river, to say goodbye to Tim Tuder.
I refuse to give up on this thing! I will blog every month until I go back to Canada. And I don't know what that will be... as its appeal is ... well... nonexistant.

Tokyo Disneyland

2007-05-08T04:18:00.000+12:00

Myself and Aki ventured to Tokyo Disneyland on May 2, 2007.
Expecting rainy weather, screaming kids and long lines/waits up to three or four hours, I was suprised to encounter small crowds (for Japan) and sunny skies.
We visited The Haunted Mansion, Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, Pooh's Honey Hunt (not my choice), Space Mountain, Main Twain's Riverboat, It's a Small World After All and Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters.
The last ride, Astro Blasters was by far my favorite. You could use the pistols mounted on the seats to shoot at targets as you moved through the arena like a shooting gallery, while your score racked up points on the display. Very fun.

Hanami (Cherry Blossom Festival) Part I : Evening

2007-04-24T06:13:00.000+12:00

This post includes a report of this year's semi-successful Sakura celebrations. We went to Jenna's neighbourhood and she had invited many classics to drink with her under some trees. The next update will likely focus on a smaller event in the daytime.

In Definace of the Unending Rain

2007-04-24T06:09:00.000+12:00

Sitting in the rain at the hanami party. I recently switched to Corona to impress Mark Regimbal. The entire duration of March and most of April it rained routinely only on Saturdays and Sundays. There were no expections.

Much Ado About Flowers

2007-04-24T06:07:00.000+12:00

What the buzz is about - Japan is filled with Cherry trees. They don't bear fruit but the flowers are all white and fluffy. They signify a two week period of heavy drinking.

The Big Top

2007-04-24T06:05:00.000+12:00

Everyone who isn't originally from Canada is a big pussy afraid of rain so we rented a tent and hid inside.

That Is What I Wanted

2007-04-24T06:03:00.000+12:00

To be obnoxious 11,000km from home. I make it look easy, I know.

Being a Big Dummy

2007-04-24T06:00:00.000+12:00

I ate sushi with some assistance. Cherry blossoms make me temporarily austistic. Peach blossoms make me artisitic. Plum blossoms make me irritable. Bosom Buddes (starring Tom Hanks) makes me want sushi.

Smorgas

2007-04-24T05:35:00.000+12:00

Yankies, Aussies and Jclassics.

Her Forte

2007-04-24T05:32:00.000+12:00

We didn't know them. I rushed in and took their picture, after Jenna disarmed them with a false sense of security. A group of ladies from a used clothing shop, here with their boss. He seemed very pleased about it. We waited until he went to relive himself to swoop in.

Umbras

2007-04-24T05:29:00.000+12:00

Pink glow. Umbrellas everywhere, lest the melt in the rain a la Wicked Witch of the West.

A glo

2007-04-24T05:22:00.000+12:00

In the heart of Osaka.

That pink thing in the middle is the park where we were.

Jenna's Penthouse Balcony

2007-04-24T05:19:00.000+12:00

View of people viewing a view.

Allchamps

2007-04-24T05:17:00.000+12:00

Yuka (blue dress, Jenna's flatmate) just left for a six year stint in England. Say hello to Rowan Atkinson for me!

Oh Behave

2007-04-24T05:15:00.000+12:00

Austin Powers : London
Tim Tuder : Osaka

Just Like Stallone

2007-04-24T05:13:00.000+12:00

I raised invisible boxes to cheering crowds who whipped coins at my crotch.

blah bah. The Party Is Over

2007-04-24T05:09:00.000+12:00

Aki was right bored. We went home. I later learned that after we left, the party escalated to heights reminiscient of 80s John Candy comedies with toplessness and Van Halen.

Woo Woo Cats! Chris Yorke in Osaka!!

2007-03-28T01:05:00.000+12:00

It was a suprise to hear Christopher Charles Yorke (Aka Daddy Equinox, Metallicus, and the editor of the long running Gypsy Times) calling me on Saturday March 17th (St. Paddy's) informing me that he was nearby in Kyoto. Or course, he was participating in a Magic: The Gathering tournament. But the next day he would be arriving with three Icelandic dudes. Of course he would be, I thought. Well in character. I had my hands full moving into my new apartment, but was able to make the time to meet up Sunday night for some dinner and a rapid tour of Osaka.

It's been about 5 years since I saw Chris, and maybe 7 or 8 since we roomed together with GFry and Loro. He has not changed in any way I could identify. Things are going well for him in Tokyo, where he's been living the past year and for another to come. I was planning to go to Toyko last year but it didn't happen. But wasn't it that John Lennon bastard that said "life is what happens when you're making other plans" or some crap like that. What a load of schlock. If I found out Paul McCartney said it, I'm gonna whip my Wings CDs off the balcony like frisbees.

Oh, right. Chris Yorke. So this blog update will glorify the entertaining few short hours I was able to spend with Chris last weekend. It's always exciting when friends from home arrive here, but as Chris is a resident (and presumably fluent as he is studying at Tokyo uni) pointing out amusing Japanese things was not a requirement.

Let's... do that. On another note, I was able to rectify some of my blogging woes as I've got my old laptop back in running order thanks to Tim Tuder, who was able to dismantle it last night so we could scrape the huge and disgusting chunks of dirt and dust which accumulated in the heatsink and led to February's meltdown. It seems the Japanese OS I was using was just not compatible with Blogger's Javascript interface required for posting on Blogspot. Got that? So I've you're using a Japanese version of Windows XP (Which doesn't have an option to switch to English for some enraging reason) blogger beware.

Thai Noodles, The Norse Men

2007-03-28T00:51:00.000+12:00

Asian Kitchen: I couldn't find the nice steak place (Charley's) so the boys decided that this place was aiieight. I'd had limited success here before, I've gone at least four times and usually the food was unremarkable and pricey. This time the food was quite good, these dudes knew how to order. The spicy thai noodles on the left here were very delicious and we got a second order. The weird soggy chicken sticks however were not so good. They were about 95% fat, but cooked in a delicious sauce. No one felt like sucking on the last one and spitting it out, so we left it.

Chris's buddies from Iceland, the gentleman next to Chris I believe is married to a Japanese lady and his two friends were here in Japan visiting for several weeks I think. Gauti, Hedinn, and Kristin. Occasionally they spoke in Icelandic and it was fascinating. It took a mighty effort to avoid bringing up Bjork.

On Top of Old Smokey

2007-03-28T00:43:00.000+12:00

Chris and I and two of the Icelanders (we were only permitted four) climbed into the Hep5 Ferris Wheel atop the shopping center, blah blah Jacob and I made a video about that, you can watch it in October '06 archives. This time we were wily and smuggled several cans of tallboy brews with us to drink before the wheel came the entire way around. No big chore for Canuacks and Icelandierians.

British Pub Action

2007-03-28T00:37:00.000+12:00

The lads were good about moving from Umeda to Namba. And I can't find my way around Umeda to save my life anyway. Sunday night is not the most pumpin' but of course we had to begin our tour at The Pig.

We drank beer and listened to the sound of each other's voices. We made words which in turn, formed sentences and were able to relay information. By the way, Chris is finishing a doctorate in philosophy at Tokyo university. This time next year, he will be Dr. Yorke.

Piggery Sans Tim Tuder

2007-03-28T00:32:00.000+12:00

Hollywood and his gang of classics were amped and handing out leftover blinkies from St. Patrick's day. This was on the 18th and mine is still blinking as I type this. How unusual and perverse that Tim Tuder wasn't there. He was with his pops in Hong Kong that weekend.

I mistook an old Pig and Whistle staff member for a Nova student. How embarrasing! She and her friends were overjoyed to meet real people from Iceland. It was a win-win-win situation, you know.

Let's Talk About Hex

2007-03-28T00:25:00.000+12:00

I was pumped Chris was donning his classic Hex glasses that he had custom made back seven or eight years ago when we lived on 2329 Hunter Street in Potluck Halifax. Though he didn't really seem to wear them afterward, I think he switched to some think black frames. Anyway, he was frontin' the specs.

I will never tire of seeing the word "toilet" written in huge letters directing one towards the restroom.

Into the Orange Light District . . . Because It's not Quite Red

2007-03-28T00:13:00.000+12:00

Although Sunday night, these warriors were here for all night amusement and a change from the slow pace of Kyoto's nightlife. This required a detour into Namba's Greasy Orange Light District. Jacob and I made a fine video here about garbage.

My favorite game here is to try and take photos of the sportscars locked inside a sketchy parking garage. Chances are Yakuza and gangsters park their Ferraris and Lambroginis here. because every time the guard comes running over waving his arms wildly, chanting "NO PHOTO!" You can see that sucka advancing in this shot. I wasn't even using a flash, but he's wise to my guise. I suppose that the gangsters don't want their plates photographed in the name of paranoya. I love love love that red 'Gini, though I don't know what make or year it might be. There are some deadly choice sportcars in Namba.

Pink Kiss: What a Bargain at 7000 Yen for 40 minutes

2007-03-28T00:05:00.000+12:00

Our friends from Iceland seemed pumped to visit one of the so-called hostess bars. These are like regular bars, except the bartenders are women who are paid a king's ransom to pretend to have genuine interest in you. I feel I should not have to pay to speak with women. They should be paying to speak with me. And what confusion would ensue when it came time for the bills to be presented. Natually, I would like to avoid such an embarrasing scene. In the end, we were directed to a bar 45 minutes away and so we bailed and went to eat suprisingly good mystery meats from the "combini" (convienence) store.

Why would you charge per 40 minutes?? Is there something too simple about an hourly wage? The banana reads, "Play A Round."

Big Wigs at Gal Stop

2007-03-27T23:42:00.000+12:00

The grease district seemed to be providing endless amusement. We chatted with some dudes in huge wigs. They were very friendly, but refused our Nordic friends entry on the basis that their hair was not bushy enough.

Pink City Land Ho

2007-03-27T17:26:00.000+12:00

After some unintelligiable negotiations, the boys were being escorted by this lady to a club of by the name of "Girl's Bar - Sweety." No doubt there was another round of Magic to be played before the sun came up. I went on my merry way and told Chris we'd be meeting again soon. It would be fun to actually work on a project with him while he's here, or at least hold a vegetarian potluck in honor of Tyler Russell. I don't know how the boys fared after this photo was shot, but some of them must be home in iceland by now.

WHY CAN'T I EMBED YOUTUBE CLIPS!!! CURSES TO YOU BLOGSPOT.

2007-03-20T05:41:00.001+12:00

Keeping Busy

2007-03-20T05:28:00.000+12:00

Piss

Blue Well Come

2007-03-18T21:39:00.000+12:00

Well Come. Please stand in the blue shoes area. This place is for standing close to the ATM machine. The ATM machine will close at 6:30pm (WTF??) Thank you, and good luck for everybody.

Pink Japanese Flowers

2007-03-18T21:32:00.000+12:00

Have you felt the feeling? Tears streaming down my English face as I uploaded this one.

Yellow Japanese Shop

2007-03-18T21:26:00.000+12:00

Possibly selling Chinese noodles.

Green Japanese Structure

2007-03-18T21:08:00.000+12:00

Go sixites. It's the Groove Compound. Way to go! And nearby we found the ever-impressive Raccoon Garbage Cans and the Shop Leaf logo, combining trees and books together again (at last).

Proud Signs

2007-03-18T21:02:00.000+12:00

Any information about this internet cafe would be displayed proudly on the exterior. The cat and rabbit are looking at fish on the internet. The pig seems to hate sound. You can see bamboo out the windows. What more could you possibly want?

Sting of Blogspot, The Unusually Annoying

2007-02-23T04:53:00.000+12:00

Part of the lack if updates on my behalf falls upon Blogspot for never seeming to have any of its servers operating when I update, which is perhaps 12 hours behind Eastern Time. Maybe they always do maintenance at that time, which takes me twenty minutes to post one photo of a giant metallic hornet perched atop an apartment building.

What is going on with this wrapped text!!?? ARGH!!!!!! The pictures won't go where I want them to! FNNNUHHHB!

Loove and Smoches

2007-02-21T02:05:00.000+12:00

Valentines Day is much better in Japan. For men, anyway. That's the day they are showered with chocolate from women. Men don't have to take women out on dates or buy flowers or cards. Just taking chocolate. This is a huge improvement over the minimalization of Hallowe'en and imitation of Christmas. V-day slams here in a big way. Of course, there is a turnaround on March 14th which is called White Day. It is celebrated as a reverse holiday and all the women who gave chocolate are excited to see if they will receive chocolate in return from the men they gave it to on Valentine's Day. I got quite a huge chunk of choc, comparable to an early Easter of sorts, sans Cadbury Creme Eggs. Aki was quite estatic to be around so much chocolate. It's ironic this holiday is designed in favor of men, who at most like chocolate whereas women love it at the least. At least that's my understanding of it. I hate this new Blogger format. And my archives are still being rebuilt from the Great Computer Crash, so don't hold your breath for the mighty Christmas update just yet. But I am slowly building it at a secret location.

Setsubun

2007-02-03T21:38:00.000+12:00

Today is my favorite Japanese holiday. Although my students insist it is not a real holiday (they are defiant about the word holiday meaning that it is a statitory or bank holiday, thereby permitting students and white collar workers a day off; when often it could simply mean a special day) it occurs one day after Groundhog Day and offers the same tribute to the coming of the end of the winter season. This year it didn't quite feel like winter with the temperature barely reaching zero degrees.

Anyway. This day's traditional custom for families includes the father figure in the family donning an Oni (Japanese devil or demon spirit) mask and the children pelt him with tofu beans as he dances about. Also, it is customary to eat the same number of tofu beans as your age, after casting them on the ground and declaring, "bad luck out, good luck in!" For people gaining in years like 60 or 70, their enthusiasm for this particular holiday declines as it means eating a big load o' beans. I plan to use jellybeans.

More modern (and localized to the Kansai area) customs center around eating a large piece of norimaki sushi while facing the annually changing direciton of good luck, in this case, 2007 is North-Northwest. This proceedure must be done in a silent manner, as well as eating the sushi roll without cutting it, as that would in some way deter the good luck from arriving.

Most Japanese holidays (Earth Day, Ocean's Day, Elder's Day, etc) have no customs and tradition and are simply "a day off" so I eagerly embrace any activity that suggests unusual fun, like whipping beans at your masked, dancing father and cramming your face with sushi.

In other news, my &ucking computer is all fried up. I lost the hard drive and seared the memory. Never ever buy a Toshiba laptop. A design flaw causes the processor to overheat. Thanks to everyone who is FTPing me my backups of old photos. I managed to save about 95% of my total work and projects, so I'm not really complaining. But the massive Christmas update will be taking longer than expected. Be patient. It'll be worth it, and chock full of zesty YouTube clips.

Does anyone know if Bill Murray saw his shadow this year?

LingLingSan Christmas Special on the way

2007-01-17T14:11:00.000+12:00

Just so you know, I'm working on a seperate report on Christmas that I hope to have ready in a few days. I took about 200 photos a day during my Canadian trip for Xmas which means I've got somewhere between 2000-3000 photos to select from. Also I'm debating if I should also upload snippets of video on good ol' YouTube. This was the best documented Christmas vacation in the history of civilized man, I'm sure. Stay tuned.

Brett Edwards Marries Japan

2006-12-21T07:14:00.000+12:00

This is my buddy Brett. I used to work with him at Nova. He's from Detroit and has the thickest, heaviest central American accent I've ever head. Anyway, he's a great dude and he's marrying his girlfriend here. Last month on the 29th. So anyway, I'm rushing this update so I'm not going to write long thought out captions. From here on they'll seem flippant and rushed. We celebrated this day at the Shin Umeda hotel in Umeda, Osaka. After the reception, the after party was held in Namba near the old Nova stomping grounds, Namba Honko. Tim Cabassi should have been there. I was told Twisted Sister was going to be playing throughout the ceremony. Get this, at the end of the day all the guests got gifts. I couldn't believe it. We got a set of nice plates and cripsy candy things (maple syrup of course) and even a bag of candy that looked like rocks. Primo.

The Beginning of the End

2006-12-21T07:09:00.001+12:00

Maiko and her papa. There is some profound seriousness here. Mike Muprhy thinks we should all get drunk before we get married. I think he's on to something.

Tom Was Saying Funny Things

2006-12-21T07:09:00.000+12:00

We were laughing because of some retort Tom made, after the minister said, "God is everywhere... and everyone knows God." Tom is a buddist now, so he had a moment of hilarity.

It Was a Wedding

2006-12-21T07:07:00.000+12:00

I distinctly remember someone getting married at this wedding. Well. There's no gay marriage in Japan.

Beatrix Kiddo

2006-12-21T07:06:00.000+12:00

Maiko san really did look wonderful. I couldn't understand a word of the ceremony at all. I can't understand weddings.

Throwing Flowers

2006-12-21T07:05:00.000+12:00

I looked like an idiot as I was the only one throwing sushi.

Mechanical Clicking Noises

2006-12-21T07:04:00.000+12:00

Cell phones were being held at certain angles everywhere. The married couple will live on in infamy somewhere on your phone. And so will Tetris.

Go Jenna

2006-12-21T07:03:00.000+12:00

Notice the enthusiasm one-armed Jenna is reaching for the bouquet.

Pounder's Wife

2006-12-21T07:02:00.000+12:00

The woman who caught the bouquet is now married and living in Michigan to.... Blair Whitty.

Let's Discuss Weddings

2006-12-21T07:01:00.000+12:00

He's a married man now. Talking to his father-in-law and the little sister. About weddings.

Hello Weddings

2006-12-21T06:59:00.000+12:00

What a coincidence! Hello Kitty got Hello Married at the same time. Looks like they won't be the only ones swapping CHROMOSOMES

Tokodo

2006-12-21T06:58:00.001+12:00

Japanese brides get their own cool assistant.

Clickity-flash

2006-12-21T06:58:00.000+12:00

The bride.

Puffy

2006-12-21T06:57:00.000+12:00

We watched Jenna smoke cigarettes for about 30 minutes.

Mrs/Mrs Edwards

2006-12-21T06:56:00.000+12:00

The new married couple entered the room with a renewed determination to be married.

Let Them Eat Cake [Marion Antoinette, Marion Antoinette]

2006-12-21T06:54:00.000+12:00

The bride feeds the groom. Did you see that Sopranos this year where Jenny Sack's daughter got married and she rubs the cake all over her hubby's face? And the singer is singing that gay song and later Johnny Sack gets sent back to prison and he starts crying and Jenny faints? It's awesome. That's what didn't happen here.

Tickets to the Best Dressed Concert

2006-12-21T06:52:00.000+12:00

Eventually, we understood where this was going.

Eddie Money

2006-12-21T06:51:00.000+12:00

At our table was Nova staff as far as the eye could see. Instead of being ordered to teach kids lessons, we ate roast beef.

Jefferson Starship

2006-12-21T06:49:00.000+12:00

I have to hand it to the father of the bride, everyone got drunk. Even the Aussies with hangovers.

Diana in the Wind

2006-12-21T06:48:00.000+12:00

It's called "Candle Service." It's when the bride and groom walk about with a flamethrower and set people ablaze.

Light Nite

2006-12-21T06:47:00.000+12:00

The bride and groom proceeded to light every candle in existance.

Meow

2006-12-21T06:46:00.000+12:00

Jenna was interrogated about her involvement in banning the Hello Kitty vibrators.

Dali Meet

2006-12-21T06:45:00.000+12:00

Our perception of time is limited to our understanding of linear limitations.

The Marriage Awards

2006-12-21T06:44:00.000+12:00

Maiko read her speech. It mostly centered around time travel and quantum theory. I truly ate too much roast beef. They won for best married couple.

Walker, Texas Ranger

2006-12-21T06:42:00.000+12:00

Chuck Norris looked on as Brett read his speech in English and Japanese. Then Tim's camera died. They lived happily ever after. Oh yeah, then we went to the After Party.

Waxing and Waning

2006-12-21T06:41:00.000+12:00

More Candle Service. This is why humans beings are the most intelligent in the galaxy. We have fire.

Landslides for $400

2006-12-21T06:40:00.000+12:00

br />While waiting for food, we admired Japan's culture. In this group shot, we were all posing as our favorite Bond actor. I was Connery of course. On account of Trebek.

Even More Chow

2006-12-21T06:39:00.000+12:00

We celebrated by eating their food. There were Japanese dishes, like fried chicken and roast beef and ceaser salada.

Bar Blond

2006-12-21T06:37:00.000+12:00

Brett's sister is cute. So is Jenna.

Winston Churchhill Eat Your Heart Out

2006-12-21T06:36:00.000+12:00

If I was a historian from the future, I'd wanna listen to Brett's speeches.